When Holidays Don’t Feel Simple

Mental Health Matters

Holidays have a way of arriving with expectations already attached.

We are supposed to be excited.

We are supposed to be relaxed.

We are supposed to enjoy the food, the people, the plans, the noise, the traditions, the photos, the weather, the fireworks, and whatever side dish someone insists is “the one everyone loves.”

And sometimes, we do.

Sometimes holidays are joyful and fun and exactly what we needed.

But sometimes holidays feel complicated.

They can bring up grief for people who are no longer here.

They can highlight strained family relationships.

They can make loneliness feel louder.

They can stir up stress around money, travel, food, alcohol, noise, or expectations.

They can be hard for people who are working while everyone else seems to be celebrating.

They can be difficult for people who are trying to stay sober, manage anxiety, care for someone else, or simply get through the day without pretending everything is fine.

And with the Fourth of July specifically, there is also the very real issue of noise.

Fireworks may be fun for some people, but for others they can bring stress, panic, sensory overload, disrupted sleep, worried pets, or painful reminders. Not everyone experiences the same holiday in the same way.

That does not make anyone ungrateful.

It makes them human.

One of the kindest things we can do around holidays is allow them to be honest.

A holiday can be good and still feel stressful.

You can enjoy parts of it and still need a break.

You can love your family and still feel tired after being around everyone.

You can be grateful and still miss someone.

You can participate without pretending the whole thing is effortless.

You can also decide that this year needs to look different.

Maybe that means staying for a shorter time.

Maybe it means driving separately.

Maybe it means skipping one event.

Maybe it means taking a quiet walk.

Maybe it means checking in with someone who may be having a harder weekend than they are letting on.

Maybe it means giving yourself permission not to perform happiness on command.

There is no rule that says you have to feel festive just because the calendar says it is time.

Sometimes taking care of your mental health during a holiday simply means being honest about what you can handle.

Not dramatic.

Not rude.

Not ungrateful.

Honest.

So if this holiday weekend feels simple and joyful, I hope you enjoy it.

If it feels complicated, I hope you give yourself some grace.

And if it is a little bit of both, welcome to being human.

Most of us live somewhere in the middle.

~Chris

If you enjoyed reading this, you may want to check out Why Am I So Overwhelmed All The Time.